Betrothal Retreat

A self-guided day of prayer, conversation, and preparation for marriage.

As you near the end of marriage preparation, we invite you to set aside intentional time together before celebrating the Rite of Betrothal.

The Betrothal Retreat is a self-guided retreat designed to help you step away from the logistics of wedding planning, reflect on the journey that has brought you here, pray together, and prepare your hearts for the Sacrament of Marriage.

There is no single way your retreat day has to look. Below, you will find sample schedules, conversation ideas, activities, and prayer resources. Use them to create a day that is meaningful for the two of you.

“This person is the companion with whom I choose to live in a relationship of authentic, faithful, and lasting love and with whom I want to build a family; this is the person whom the Lord has given me to walk a path of holiness together, and who will be father/ mother of the children God will give us, and with whom I will live our “mission” of marriage for a lifetime.’”

Catechumenal Pathways #60

Before Your Retreat

Before planning your retreat, make sure you:

  • Confirm your Rite of Betrothal with our Liturgy Coordinator, David Ojeda at dojeda@aggiecatholic.org

  • If you plan to go to Confession on Sunday, arrange a time with a priest beforehand by emailing Libby Diamond at ldiamond@aggiecatholic.org.

  • Invite immediate family to join you for the Rite of Betrothal.

  • Optional: purchase and wrap a small spiritual gift for your betrothed. This could be a rosary, saint medal, icon, statue, spiritual book, cross, or another meaningful gift.

  • Bring materials to write a letter to your betrothed. You will exchange these during the Rite of Betrothal.

  • Print any reflections or resources you would like to use during the day.

  • Bring a Bible and rosary if your plans include them.

Plan Your Retreat

The schedules below are suggestions, not requirements. Feel free to adjust the timing, swap activities, or spend longer on something that is particularly fruitful for you.

Try to include a few essential pieces throughout your day:

  • Time together. Share a meal, go for a walk, or choose an activity that lets you enjoy being together.

  • Conversation. Reflect on your relationship, what you have learned during marriage preparation, and the life you are preparing to begin.

  • Prayer. Spend intentional time placing your engagement and future marriage before the Lord.

  • The Sacraments. When possible, make Confession and Mass part of your retreat.

  • Reflection. Before the day ends, share with one another what stood out to you and what graces you received during your time together.

Sample Schedules

  • 9:30 Shop for picnic lunch 11:00 “Crash wedding” at St. Mary’s
    12:30 Lunch & Discussion
    1:30 Prayer & Reflection
    2:30 Sharing of Graces 3:00 Activity
    3:15 Get in line for Confession ‍ ‍4:00 Confession
    4:15 Activity 4:45 Letter to your betrothed
    5:30 Mass
    7:00 Rite of Betrothal

  • 11:00 Shop for picnic lunch
    11:45 Lunch & Discussion 1:00 Prayer & Reflection 2:00 Sharing of Graces 2:30 Activity
    3:15 Get in line for Confession‍
    4:00 Confession
    4:15 Activity
    4:45 Letter to your betrothed
    5:30 Mass
    7:00 Rite of Betrothal

  • 11:30 Shop for picnic
    12:15 Lunch & Discussion
    1:15 Prayer & Reflection
    2:15 Sharing of Graces
    3:00 Activity
    4:30 Examination of Conscience
    5:00 Confession (email priest beforehand)
    5:15 Letter to your betrothed
    5:30 Prayer before Mass
    6:00 Mass
    7:30 Rite of Betrothal

Activity and Reflection Ideas

  • You do not need to complete all of these. Choose one or two that would be meaningful or helpful for you at this point in your engagement.

    • Reflect together on what you have learned during marriage preparation.

    • Talk about married couples you admire. What do you hope to learn from their marriages?

    • Discuss your hopes and expectations for your wedding night.

    • Select or revisit the Scripture readings and music for your wedding liturgy.

    • Make a reception playlist together.

    • Plan a few things you would like to do on your honeymoon.

    • Choose a new hobby, tradition, or activity you would like to begin together after the wedding.

    • Write thank-you notes to your parents, sponsor couple, or others who have accompanied you during your engagement.

  • Choose a reflection or form of prayer and give yourselves enough time to enter into it without rushing.

  • Before moving on from your time of prayer, spend a few minutes sharing what came up for each of you.

    You might ask:

    • What stood out to you in prayer?

    • What are you grateful for as you look back on our engagement?

    • Where have you seen God at work in our relationship?

    • What are you most looking forward to about our marriage?

    • Is there anything you feel the Lord inviting us to bring into our marriage?

    This does not need to be a formal discussion. Simply give each other space to share and listen.

  • Near the end of your retreat, take some time apart to write a letter to one another. You will exchange these letters during the Rite of Betrothal.

    You might write about what you love about your betrothed, what you have learned during your engagement, the ways you have seen God working in your relationship, and your hopes and prayers for your future marriage.

Book your Rite of Betrothal

Email Our Liturgy Coordinator